


Foulmouthed Fury

by LostAngelSoul



Series: LJ Hogwarts LDWS [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Humour, Implied Relationships, Minor Ron Weasley Bashing, Pre-Relationship, SS/HG is endgame, This counts as flirting right?, Writing Contest, creative swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 18:36:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20140102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostAngelSoul/pseuds/LostAngelSoul
Summary: In answer, she thrust a scroll at him. “Merlin’s saggy tits, read the bloody thing, you obtuse troglodyte.”Drabble written for the LiveJournal contest.PROMPT: An unexpected guest shows up at Hogwarts.WORD COUNT: Exactly 300 words.





	Foulmouthed Fury

**Author's Note:**

> Behold, the ravings of a writer who can’t actually bring themselves to use f***, c***, or other unimaginative obscenities, despite the nature of this plot bunny.
> 
> Extra points if you know where the marzipan reference came from.

Severus threw open the front door of Hogwarts, only to find a Fury in front of him, yelling abuse as soon as she set eyes on him. A moment later, recognition seeped through the stunned state of his brain. The Fury was Hermione Granger. Or, to be more precise, he had mistaken Miss Granger for a Fury. The way her eyes sparked and hair crackled was really quite distracting. And magnificent. Now if only he could determine the reason for her ire.

As if in answer, she thrust a scroll at him. “Merlin’s saggy tits, read the bloody thing, you obtuse troglodyte, or are you trying to be as useful as a marzipan dildo tonight?”

His jaw clenched. “Miss Granger,” he began, glaring, “I hardly think–”

“We’re well aware of that, goth boy. I can only hope your instincts for potion-making are more fine-tuned than your instincts with women.”

“If I want your opinion, Miss Granger-” he snarled –

“Oh please, don’t give me that sexy growl, twatface. Just give me a sodding antidote so I can go and tear Ronald’s head off by the ears!”

‘Sexy growl’? Perhaps he ought to be treating her for brain damage as well as whatever she’d been poisoned with. Unfurling the parchment, he saw ‘Foulmouthed fancies’ – WWW’s latest experiment.

Well, that certainly explained why she’d come to him. He smirked at the thought of the bollocking the youngest Weasley boy (for he was undoubtedly the villain here) would get. Doubtless it would make her potion-induced greeting to him sound like sweet talk. Perhaps he could convince her to share the memory afterwards.

He ignored Hermione’s next insult (which was frankly impossible, including as it did three of the five exceptions to Gamp’s Law of Elemental Transfiguration) and ushered her in. “Walk this way, Granger.”


End file.
